Sunday, 23 March 2014

The Crooked Face Position

The Crooked Face Position

He wanted his mum to stop drinking. And as the years went by he hoped that situation would change.

She stood in front of the mirror analyzing her gums like she was trying to discover if a new found lump was serious. Her fingers pulled her mouth wide apart. Her teeth were yellow, the blacks of decay slightly forming in between. She let go of her mouth and stared at her reflection. She saw the person she always knew, herself, slightly older now in her early thirties, but still herself, still Gina. The stink of alcohol from her mouth came out heavy like it was an old stain in a carpet, now staying there forever. Her long blonde hair was getting older quicker than it should, not many grays, instead the hair was tired, constantly grubby like it was turning into a mop. Her face still had a bit of the clear gene, but it was aging quicker like her hair. Tired bags were forming under her clear blue eyes which seemed to be getting paler by the year.

Tommy appeared by the bathroom door and looked at his mum getting ready for bed. His eyes watched the back of her hunching over the sink and staring at the mirror, an image he was familiar with. He was eight years old, a fit little nothing frame of a boy. Dressed in his shorts and t shirt. He knew he should have been in bed by now, but a concern for his mum always brought him to spy on her. The weak image in front of him. His blue eyes he got from his mum swelled with tears of pain and love for the hope a stronger image one day. Gina kept looking at her reflection and she was upset that features in her face were eroding into a permanent fix. Her cheeks were starting to hang a bit, even on the chiseled waif frame she had. Her mouth was becoming distorted, from the lack of natural smiling. She didn't know Tommy was watching her, but by now Tommy was gone, back to his room. Gina knew she had no-one to blame but herself for how her face and appearance was beginning to look. She knew it was because she was an alcoholic her whole life.

The door was shut, but Gina opened it and went to Tommy who was under the covers, trying to sleep.

"Are you asleep Tommy?" Gina said.

Tommy pretended to be asleep. He was curled up tighter than usual which showed he was forcing his possum a bit. His eyes stayed shut and he was thinking. He didn't know why he didn't answer his mum, but something this time made him stand by his choice. He was expecting his mum to sit next to him and stroke his head, slurring "my angel" or something like that on the occasions she knew he was asleep. But not this time, nothing was by his side. Gina remained standing, half a meter from the bed just looking at Tommy. She felt a barrier and couldn't make out what it was.

Gina sat in her bedroom and turned the radio on lightly. The song which played was a depressing emotional whaling number. Tommy heard it from his room and his eyes opened again, knowing this routine all too well. Gina took a bottle of white wine from behind her bed - saved by one of her secret stash bed time cushions. She poured a glass and drank. Each sip gave her comfort, but unaware yet it was sinking her deeper into depression. The same thoughts appeared at this time; herself and her ex husband who was no longer around. She looked at a picture of her when she was younger and it made her happy of the pretty person she saw. Then depression took over because those looks were faded away, what she had now was deforming features, a face filling with cracks and disfigurement, weak eyes that slid with apathy.

"Do you miss dad?" Tommy said.
"Of course I do" Gina replied.

Gina was driving and Tommy was in the front passenger seat. Gina wasn't expecting Tommy's question, her mind was filled with negative stuff as it always seemed to be these days. Plus Tommy hardly ever spoke about his father which was how they both coped as a single parent and child in these stages of their lives.

"I will always miss your father" Gina said.
"Why did he leave?" Tommy replied. Gina had to be careful with what she said next.
"Things weren't the same how they used to be with us. But I will always love your father and he will always love you"
"Doesn't he love you?" Gina felt challenged and backed into a corner.
"I don't think so"
"Why?"

Gina couldn't answer the question because she knew the truth was something of her own fault. She needed out of the situation immediately and it was a miracle when she realized they had arrived at Tommy's school.

"Have a good day at school Tommy" Gina said.

She was already kissing Tommy goodbye, leaning over and opening his door seconds after the car had stopped. She said "I love you" which Tommy replied, but the hug was icy, inside Tommy shut himself off. When the door closed, Gina breathed a small sigh of relief. She didn't know how the hell she could have told Tommy the truth; that his father left her because she was an alcoholic and couldn't admit it. She knew it was selfish, but she was so depressed these days, other peoples concerns were no concern of hers. Only her drama meant anything. Tommy was walking to school with his back pack on, greeted by his enthusiastic friends who waited in front of him. They made him happy, as their brightness lit him up, a change from his mum and home.

He didn't turn back to wave to his mum. He knew the truth anyway, he knew he was smart enough to know what was really going on in his house, so he just shimmered into school with his friends. Gina watched him from her car window and became sad. It was like she finally understood she had a serious drinking problem and everything around her was crumbling because of that. Her husband had left her, and when Tommy grows up she feared he would too. The way his back was shown to her on his way to school made her realize she was in a bad stage of her life and had to make a change. Then she removed a small bottle of wine from behind her seat - another secret stash and dealt with her problems the only way she knew how, by drinking.

Banners were all around the house stating 'Happy 18th Birthday Tommy'. Gina looked at the surroundings proudly knowing it was her work for her sons birthday. Her face was fresh and features were healthy. There were still a few scars of disfigurement from the years of excessive drinking, but the new person covered them up better now. The party was lively, it was full of Tommy's friends from school, most of them about to start University like Tommy. Predominantly middle class white kids, good lookers, big personalities and machine gun confidence. A few of Gina's friends were in the kitchen having their own party within the party. They were mostly work colleagues, middle aged ladies from the comfortable married with families stock. They dressed up in skirts and heels, a large proportion of flesh healthily on show, some of the younger lads kept prying over to them with any moments notice to chat them up.

This observational moment Gina found satisfying. Mostly because she was a different person these days, she was drink free and had been for five weeks. Tommy noticed his mum seeming happy in the living room. He was talking to his friend he was certain to convert into a girlfriend at this party, a really pretty blonde called Saskia. She had legs to Chelsea and a face which gave Hollywood a run for their money. That bug look about her Tommy fell in love with, to him she was that perfect hot girl. Tommy said he'd be back to her in a minute and went to his mum.

"I'm really proud of you mum" Tommy said.
"Thank you Tommy. I'm proud of you too" Gina replied.

Seeing his mum so healthy and 'normal' made Tommy happier than anything else. The natural face of a human being looked back at him. He hugged her, proud again of the change in the person he cares for most in the world. He thought turning eighteen was the next stage of his life and it seemed that included his mum too. He was looking forward to it, so excited like he couldn't sit still inside.

Gina was in a spare room with the ladies, nattering, they had their glasses of wine and she had her apple juice. She seemed contempt enough, however an urge tugged her heart like a rope in tug of war. It was harsh, to the point where she clutched her chest. The ladies didn't notice. The feeling was spiteful and Gina thought she was under attack. She left the room and went to the living room to breath. Most of the teenagers were in the garden, only a few were on the settee's drinking or kissing. Gina got her breath and felt relieved, but what followed next was the sight on wine in the kitchen. The bottle talked to her, it made faces at her, she looked at it long enough it seemed to dance for her. The weakness in the bottom of Gina's heart hadn't fully recovered yet, and that is what pushed her to the kitchen. She downed one glass after the next. Then a few shots of Vodka. The satisfaction was nothing like it. Five weeks of being away caught up quickly, in minutes.

Tommy was in the garden on the bench kissing Saskia. They were kissing for about three minutes and he didn't want it to end, so he carried it on as long as she pulled away. And felt in heaven because she never did. Her small delicate tongue messaging against his, it shifted him off to sea on course to the most sunniest shores. Her skinny girl legs sat across his skinny male legs and her stroked them as he kissed her. He was the happiest guy in the world right now to know the girl he fancied was his at this moment. Then a smash and whale came from the house, it was loud, the whole party heard it. Everyone in the garden were put to attention towards the front room. The whales kept coming and Tommy's pupils contracted to pins, that voice sounded familiar, he thought it was a trick because that sound was supposed to be long gone.

In the house Gina was on the floor, unable to lift herself up, her legs were like a pair of drunken dead nothings. Her face, as she looked up at the concerned guests around her, was a ghost mask. The eyes slid, the cracks came through, the mouthed resumed it's upside down truth, the hair bunched out like it had a mini round with sparky.

"Help me, for fucks sake help me!" Gina cackled. The teenagers didn't know what to do or how to react bless them.

"Don't just stand there, help me the fuck up" Gina continued. The middle aged ladies entered the room and were about to obey Gina's cries but Tommy told them to stand back.

"Tommy" Gina whimpered.

Tommy just looked at the picture below him, the sad image of a woman back in the same place again.

"I'm sorry, I messed up again"

Gina was in bed, Tommy was tucking her in and sat beside her. He had to think for a moment at how strange the situation felt for a second. Then he knew the truth of what was happening, it was his turn to be the parent. No sound or anyone was in the house as the party was over. Tommy looked at his mum, the eyes peeping back at him above the duvet she was pulling to hide her face. But Tommy saw everything because the alcohol brought it all back; the alien nature and the scares catered for by alcohol. The eyes had shame in them, like they couldn't look at it's only child. It pained Tommy to see her mum wasn't strong enough to move on and still in the same place.

"You have to stop drinking mum. You were doing so well" Tommy said.
"I am sorry Tommy" Gina replied.
"You have to try harder, or it will ruin your life for good"
"I can do it, I will change"
"I know dad left you because of your drinking"

A snapshot of life slapped Gina in the face. She didn't know what it meant and she wasn't religious, but something spiritual happened. Eventually she became grateful Tommy said that, because it was the challenge she needed to realize how terrible she has been. For the first time EVER she felt a change taking place inside her and WAS going to stand by it this time.

"I will change. I promise you Tommy" Gina said.

The tone of her voice and the look in her sliding drunken eyes was different. In the mix of the drunkness Tommy found something that was new, the truth, a suppressed strength and believed her mum meant it this time. Then he got a text from Saskia.

I hope you mum is alright. I really like you. Looking forward to seeing you again. Sas Xxx



Wednesday, 26 February 2014

The Dogsbody

The Dogsbody

He stood where he was supposed to be, unsure what to do next, but knowing his name was going to be called out soon. He watched his surroundings with keen interest. The actors on set were performing a Q&A for the magazine 'InStyle'. The lighting and set up fascinated Matt, to him everything was the real deal in terms of the film world. His eyes were consumed with 'new' and the professional crew all doing there jobs. Eventually his name was called to gather more water for the cast in between a take. He darted off to the kitchen. Thirty seconds later he arrived back on the set with the trey of waters, holding them carefully hoping he was doing a good job. The cast said their 'thank yous' most of the crew did too, except a few - the pricks. As Matt walked away to a safe station to set the trey down, he turned back, not angry with the rude crew members, but accepting it and more importantly he just wanted to do the best he could.

The set had changed to a new scene. One of the actors was presenting clothes which were layed out on a rack. Matt was standing, he wanted to sit because he was tired after helping the lighting people with all their tasks. He felt he had done a good job, although he didn't have a clue what any of the lighting equipment meant. He knew he was learning as he was going and did whatever was asked of him. The studio was large, one of the most well known in the UK, nestling on London's Southbank. Matt was pleased he was there, he felt he did well - successfully becoming an intern. His name was called to remove items from the set, so he got moving. When the set was clear, he went to his usual, on hand, standing position. But not for long because his name was called again. Alice, the production manager, told him to get cracking on lunch and Matt listened to his instructions. In Matt's eyes, Alice was pretty hot; her completely straight long black hair and had a rocker vibe to her which Matt assumed in Alice's own time she was one of those dedicated Dalston junkie chicks. She was also a good production manager and had the driven single minded qualities which is needed to fit that role.

Matt put on his jacket and put the company's expenses card in his pocket. He trotted out of the studio and on his way up the road, passing all the staff and client cars in the car park. He wasn't a driver yet, but he didn't mind, he had just come out of film school and never really needed one. Now he was an intern, public transport would be alright for now he thought because most of his work would be based in or around London. He arrived at Pret a Manger, the familiar employees knew who he was. Matt kind of liked this part of his routine because some of the European ladies who worked there were striking. He waited while they plated up his orders, this was also routine; the workers pulling out these enormous trey's to stack all the sandwiches on it. Versace usually served him and she was this day. It was her olive, spotless skin which got Matt. Her name too and she weren't even a guy. Matt watched her, he thought he shouldn't because he had a girlfriend, but his male brain told him it was in his nature to look, so he continued too.

Everything was stacked in his hands, from a point of view Matt looked like a human carrier. Customers noticed him and felt slightly concerned if he could manage the stacks in his hands. He was given the expenses card back to him from Versace whom said "have a nice day Matt". The other employee's put a couple of freebie bags of croissants on top of the stack as a treat for his good business and Matt left the shop, someone helped him by opening the door. Matt got a little pissed as he steadied himself down the road, the human carrier, because he felt he could use some help with the lunch run. He felt the production company didn't really think about that, instead they just left him to get on with it. They didn't even raise the concern. But Matt kept on his way anyway.

Back at the set, the cast and crew were happy as pigs in shit now they got their feeding, sitting around and relaxed, taking a break and tucking into their little assortments. Matt was ready to remove his sandwich, the chicken club - he liked that one. Until his name was called again by Alice who asked him to make a start on teas and coffees for lunch. Matt wanted to eat, he felt he earn't the right too like everyone else, but at the same time didn't want to seem like he was making any mistakes, so he took his sandwich and his banana cake he cheekily added to the expense card to the kitchen. He was washing cups, boiling the kettle and then preparing the tea and coffee's whilst he ate his lunch. He felt lonely in that room because everyone else was having normal down time and there he was still working for them. Each cup in front of him seemed like ten cups, the sight of them started to get his blood boiling, but he calmed his nerves.

Back in the studio, he handed out his teas and coffees and got his usual "thank you's" that had no meaning, instead they became like programmed responses. But Matt kept his chin up because he had a good quality for keeping his eye on the prize - to get paid work and meaningful roles with progression. Finally he placed the trey to the side and was able to sit down and snack on one of the free croissants he was given, until Alice called his name again and told him to start clearing up all the mess around the set. Matt took a couple of quick bites of his croissant and did as he was told.

It was a TV advert shoot and the location was way out in West London somewhere. Matt was standing outside of the house (the location) excited, he had never filmed an advert before, so he was anticipating his day. But before he could mingle in with the cast and most of the crew who were standing outside of the house, his name was called by the floor runner to help unload the truck to his far right. The truck stretched and when the shutter pulled up, mountains of equipment stood in sight. Matt started unloading it. His friend Dean, a blonde haired twenty year old like Matt, was another runner. He had a sharp eye for detail also like Matt, eyes with a vision. Matt liked working with Dean. As they were almost done unloading the van they got into conversation about film ideas they had for their futures. Matt enjoyed this because he felt like he connected with Dean, they understood each other - both working for no money but hoping of a brighter future eventually, like the slaves in a way.

As usual Matt had his hands full with the breakfast run, but he was grateful Dean was to his side helping him. When the shoots got larger, Matt usually had his helping hands, Dean's was his favorite. Inside the house, the set was halfway dressed, lighting and equipment was everywhere. Matt and Dean went to the famous cast and handed them their specific breakfast. They were handed back bottles of water to refill, which they did. It made Matt slightly giggle to see the names of the cast on their own water bottle. When he gave it back to them he kind of thought it was a joke, anal and had the thought of swapping their sausage sandwiches with chilli chorizo that was left from another shoot. But thought maybe not because he would have to go all the way back to the cafe again to change the order.

About two minutes before shooting, Alice told Matt to be on guard at the front door of the house to make sure noise was kept quiet from the public passing by. Matt went to his spot and waited. It only took half an hour for him to get bored as it was just him there. He was on the verge of getting out his Iphone to Internet surf, but stopped himself, not wanting to get caught and come across as a set lightweight. That's when noise occurred outside from two obese ladies stuffing themselves with Greggs and yelling about the program Benefits Street. The next yelling came from the floor manager directly at Matt and Matt felt embarrassed. The floor manager told him to go outside and to stay outside and do his job. Matt was pushed out and the front door shut. He felt even more embarrassed, almost a joke and knew he had respect to gain back. However as the next half hour drew on, which turned to an hour and then hours, Matt felt the loneliest he ever felt on a film set, at work, or in his life in general. He felt like knocking on the door, but didn't in case he would annoy the set. So he stayed where he was keeping an eye on the noise, and felt worthless and undervalued as the time ticked by. It started raining and he was getting soaked. It took him twenty minutes to build up the confidence to knock on the door, their was no sound and Matt was starting to get drenched, fearing soon he'd catch an awful cold.

It was coming to the end of his day, Matt was finalizing paperwork on a computer in the editing suite at the production company. He kept looking at his watch and it said 10.45pm. He was excited because it was his girlfriends birthday and he was looking forward to giving her his gift when he got home, as she was leaving the following morning for a holiday with her parents. Matt was also extremely exhausted, it was 14-16 hour days for the past week, because the current project was a demanding one. That's when Andy entered and plonked more paperwork next to Matt and Matt's ultimate nightmare of given more work to do seemed like it was going to happen. Andy stood tall with these piercing beady little eyes through his glasses which stuck too close to his face. Andy was the boss of the whole production company, the owner. He said to Matt to complete the papers before he went home, so Matt knew it was going to be a long one. Then Andy suggested Matt to "crash" at the studio as other members of staff were because of the demands of the shoot. A nudge inside Matt felt different, bolder, it told him to finally say no. He did his best and told Andy about his girlfriends situation and Andy replied his role within the company was more important, and that was that, Andy left, leaving Matt in the editing suite, alone, to make up his mind.

Matt was angry at himself for not being stronger to say no from the start, then maybe people would stop taking advantage of him. He banged his hand on the desk and felt tired and upset. He texted his girlfriend, sadly, and told her the situation. She replied saying not to worry and that she loved him anyway and would talk via Facebook while she on holiday. Matt said he was sorry again and told her he loved her too. His position as an intern had become a joke he thought, Andy hadn't even offered him a job as he promised he would after one year and Matt had been there for a year. When he did raise the issue, Andy dismissed it and said he'll get straight back to him about it, but never did. Matt felt used, a busy fool doing things for others with no purpose of it's own, and now he had to be stuck in this fucking editing suite till the next morning, missing his girlfriend and the gift he bought her.

He got on with his work anyway, hoping things would change somehow soon. Then he woke up and realized it was morning - he had fell asleep through the night. Then totally unexpectedly, Dean had messaged him saying his production company are looking for interns to be paid. Matt couldn't believe it.

Thursday, 13 February 2014

Stood Up

Waiting cements in a cold winters night
Sold on Piccadilly Circus parading a show waiting for disaster
Half an hour ticks loud crashing against the lights which spin faster
Still no-one around but foreign languages speaking differently

Text messages travel to destinations unknown
The journey doesn't return instead hijacked whilst lost at sea
He turns to a new direction planning a map route back to start
And anticipates square one will form a perfect circle eventually

Thursday, 6 February 2014

Live Fast, Die Young

Live Fast, Die Young

They became rich by accident and their fate was heading in the same direction

Hamesh and Hitesh were sitting in front of their computer screen so determined it made you concerned how serious they were. The screen on the website showed they were building another medium of social networking which they were convinced would make them rich, their inspiration the next Facebook. They were indie boys and dressed almost the same; knackered Converse on their feet, baggy jeans and hoodys from Mad House. India was their heritage, apart of them never forgot that, but most of them wanted to forget because they were angry men avoiding their pasts. The website looked like it was coming along, both of them were computer minded (Hamesh twenty four and Hitesh twenty three) they contributed to the site equally, bouncing off each other with ideas then adding those to the screen.

Hitesh went to make tea leaving Hamesh at the screen to carry on. Hamesh had the edge on Hitesh for determination, he never left the computer. His mind momentarily wondered as it often did and he started thinking about his mother who he and his brother lost six years ago. She died of an illness that was caused by stress. He remembered when the three of them lived back in India. It was a poor upbringing and he hated his father who left when he and Hitesh were young. It made him even angrier to know his father was a multi, multi millionaire through real estate and the selfish asshole didn't give his mother or his sons any of his money for support.

Hitesh was making tea and his mind wondered also as it often did too. He was thinking about his poor mother and the fact he and Hamesh had come to England to go to University off the little money she had left them. The both of them swore to become wealthy and would do anything not to be poor again, make something with their lives. It made him slightly emotional to know they were out in the UK on their own, no other family of theirs were on this island but them. But it was a separated family back in India also, so he knew it didn't matter where they were, what counted is they had each other, brother to brother. But also like his brother, he hated one person in the world, only one, his father.

They got ready for bed, usually always at the same time if they were in the house together. Hamesh was brushing his teeth in the bathroom, Hitesh was already in his bed tucking himself in. Eventually Hamesh arrived at Hitesh's door.

"Goodnight brother" Hamesh said.
"Goodnight brother" Hitesh replied.

Hamesh shut his door and went to his room. Hitesh was thinking, it was a comfortable routine he did before he fell asleep. He was grateful he and his brother got their computing degrees, worked at jobs in their fields of programming and had a roof over their heads, a flat they shared together. Hamesh was in bed now and adopted the same routine. He was grateful for a lot of things. But what he craved more than anything else was to one day be rich. He visualized it everyday, his eyes stuck on one spot like he was possessed by that dream. Back in Hitesh's room he was falling deeper into the same trance like way. The both of them put all their vision into that website and hoped to wake up the next day that the dream would become a reality.

It was a Saturday, the brothers woke up half an hour between the other. Hamesh was in the kitchen making an Indian style fry up, he took care in the assortments knowing that was a positive thing he took from his shitty gritty past on home turf. Hitesh arrived in the kitchen and they exchanged their "what's ups". They thought about what they were going to do that day and were drawn to the idea of meeting their friends. It turned out they had the same friends, they didn't mind that, they kinda of lived the same life anyway and they weren't even twins. They did miss another set of friends they had who were business genius' and got rich off a stock and were now living like millionaires in Florida. That is where Hamesh and Hitesh wanted to be when they were rich.

Hitesh sat at the kitchen table with post. Hamesh was setting the plates down and Hitesh replied with "cheers". There was a letter which Hitesh looked at with a moments confusion as it was from overseas marked 'India'. The brothers looked at each other perplexed where one thought wanted to bin the thing and the other forced them to remember their roots. Hitesh opened it, he saw it was a letter from their aunt - the only aunt who bothered to keep in contact with the brothers. The letter stated they had to go back to India immediately because the news was their father had died.

"I couldn't give a damn" Hamesh said.
"Neither do I" Hitesh replied.

They kept on reading the letter though because they hadn't finished it. The more they read the more they knew it seemed like a serious situation because the writing became desperate. They felt a funny feeling inside that the letter was leading to something, they didn't know what, it was a strange exciting experience like the night before Christmas day. The letter ended with telling them they had to meet a Will advisory to talk about diversifying the money their father had left them. Hamesh and Hitesh looked at each other speechless. Their minds were swamped with the thought of money, so much so it could have made them pass out.

In India, the boys sat in the chairs along with their aunt Gita to their right, the Will adviser sat in his seat with paperwork; death certificate and Will contracts. Gita was a mess; her hair never done, the clothes she wore were straight out of the charity shop or something close, her attitude that of a wannabe tree hugger. It annoyed the brothers to see such a messed up family and also to be reminded of that whenever they were forced to go back to their homeland. However they gave their aunt some slack because after all she was the only one who demonstrated she had a heart and made an effort, even if her life seemed to have no purpose.

The Will adviser told Hamesh and Hitesh that their father had died from suicide; he had jumped off a building because he couldn't handle his success anymore. The brothers first reaction was "Oh well" but what made them silent afterwards, was what their father had left them - absolutely everything. They felt the life being sucked out of them the more the Will adviser spoke. Very soon the mans speech became muffled completely, the brothers felt like they floating or something. Their fathers liquid capital, invested money, assets and off shore accounts came to a total of £850 million, all signed over to his sons. Right now the brothers were suffocating, actually chocking they had to gets on the hands and knees to breath. Eventually they sat back in their chairs after their aunt did her best to be helpful. They got themselves together and experienced what so much so soon felt like.

"Don't spend it all at once boys" the aunt said.

FLORIDA.

The house was enormous, the front was the width of half a football pitch. The cars in the driveway layed out like it was having an audition for the program 'Cribs'. Inside the place was heaving with youngsters; men and woman in their twenties. It was daytime and the party was in full motion. The rooms stretched endlessly, their were so many people cutting it loose the house itself seemed to move. In the garden Hamesh was doing his thing on the barbecue cooking up a storm. He took pride at the stove knowing that was one of his passions. An infectious smile painted on his face which indicated he was living the life he always dreamed of. The burgers cooked screaming "eat me". Hitesh was handing out cocktails around the garden to people he hardly knew, they were friends of he and his brothers friends in Florida; Ozil, Rebecca and Natasha.

When Hamesh was done on the hot plate he sat with his circle. They were happy. Ozil was a tall roughty toughty, loved his shaved head, a millionaire. Rebecca and Natasha were sisters, both tanned, plucky indie "cool dudes" millionaires also. It was heaven for the five of them as they sat by the pool and their Florida gang moving around the place like ant workers on a day off. Ozil, and the sisters were singing the praises of their two British expats finally out living the good life with them. Hamesh and Hitesh raised a toast to being their too. They felt like they had made it; rich and had everything they wanted. They didn't care they got the money without really working for it, they knew everything happened for a reason. How hard they worked on that website for as long as they did had finally paid off, even if they hadn't touched the site since they went to India.

They were in a casino at a table. The boys dressed in Armani suits and the sisters in Chanel dresses. Hitesh looked like he was on a roll and about to score a winner at the table. His cigar in his mouth emulating 'Al Pacino's Scarface' He won and whaled loudly like he was the man of the moment, high fiving his friends as they followed suit. The dealer and members of staff around smiled at the five piece, they couldn't help but like how they were the casino's regulars, their local rich band. One of them alone were richer than probably anyone else in the place, and the members of staff let them have their time.

It was one of the most prestigious clubs in Florida. The drinks were laughably overpriced, but they flowed in crystal buckets on every VIP table. The five piece sat on one, Will Smith and his people was next to them. Hamesh was leaning over and chatting to them and Rebecca and Natasha got involved and asked for pictures. Will Smith did so, then all five of them joined in and the photos kept coming. The gang should Mr Smith's hand and felt like celebrities, then they sat at their table and thought "hell, we're probably richer than him, he should be shaking our hand". After that they hit the dance floor, their hands were high. The girls Chanel dresses really sparkled off the disco ball, their moves swam seductively through the dark shadows of the music. The boys danced high and mighty like they owned the place, they were having such a good time. Hamesh and Hitesh looked at each other and talked to one another with their minds, they were thinking exactly the same thing; that they had done it, their dream was finally true.

Back at the mansion, Hitesh got up. He looked at his Iphone5 Z (a model that hadn't been released yet, but Apple made just for him) and it was 7.45am. The woman next to him was a pretty blonde he pulled from the club, then he noticed his other four with their partners they pulled also. They were all sprawled on sofas around the lounge. He then remembered an orgy happened that night and his smile indicated it was awesome. A mountain of cocaine was sat on the table like a sandcastle. It was massive. Hitesh was still high so he went to the sandcastle and sniffed a chunk like it was a scene out a Scarface once again. His head cocked back, the hit, hit him but he loved it and thought he could do what he wanted because he had no worries in the world anymore.

He walked to the glass door and looked outside. His sound was acute, things on the outside seemed to slide. He had some doubts as to the life he was conducting. He knew he was having fun, but how long could it last. He in all fairness was pissing his money up the wall and questioned if he was living bad success. But then he thought 'fuck it'. He was young and had all the money in the world. He was going to live a good few more years having fun and then get serious later.

They sat in front of them like two bulldogs made of a machinery. Indestructible that couldn't be touched and were a statement on the road saying "you can get out of the way now". They were 2014 edition Bugatti Veyrons. Straight out of the showroom, one blue, the other white - statements!

"Enjoy your cars gentlemen" the car salesman said.

Hamesh and Hitesh went to their cars like children just been introduced to their first pair of football boots. They touched their cars like they could have sex with it, they were brand spanking new. Hamesh got in the blue one, Hitesh the white. They pressed the start button and the engine almost took off their behinds, they felt like they were in a real life space portal. They did down their windows.

"Are you serious?" Hamesh said.
"It is happening baby, let's go" Hitesh replied.

Ozil, Rebecca and Natasha turned up in their Lamborghini Aventodors and joined the party. Eventually the five of them were cruising on a road looking like an invasion of some sort. Their cars were more than the road itself almost. A devilish eye appeared in them and they exchanged it through their windows. They all knew it meant one thing - RACE! So they did and set off. They dodged around other drivers and only really put their foot down when they were on a clear straight. Hamesh had the lead and looked pretty safe, but Hitesh upped the pace and overtook him. The Aventodors had no chance against a fact, the worlds fastest cars times two, but Ozil got too eager. Hamesh responded by pulling away.

"Hahahaha" Hamesh laughed.

His eyes wasn't on the road then bang!...

His car hit Hitesh's and the both of them went fifteen feet in the air...

Heart pounding moments later the cars shattered back onto the road and the Aventodors flew into them like missiles, one, after, the, other...

Ten seconds later the area was silent. the cars not moving, no-one moving in them. Hundreds of parts of the cars scattered a hundred meter radius from the smashed objects.



Monday, 3 February 2014

Saved By an Angel

Always turning an issue which scopes his globe
Forming an eternal tissue in the palm of his hands
A bus stop waits his future
And arrives at problems dissolving his wet sandcastle

Building old exteriors through new window panes
Cutting sharp until a bitter sweet victory heals
Forming a colorful lady where textures paint pretty
Withering with wings that float lightly

Thursday, 2 January 2014

Knocked For Ten

Knocked For Ten

It was another samey day at the airport for her, until the day she was swept off her feet.

The customers were flocking through at a steady pace, nothing too busy or mild for a Saturday. Viola had the natural brisk to her job; the greet and smile from someone who got pleasure from their work. She was a sight for saw eyes because she was tall, skin so clean it's secret was probably rare olive oil, dark healthy hair, fathomless Sapphire brown eyes and slim like a model body. We looked at her sometimes and couldn't understand what the hell made her single, we even had the slight suspicion she was a virgin. When she greeted and spoke to her customers, behind the make you weak at the knees exteriors, there was an inexperienced aura about her, she was needy, she paused, something created a barrier.

The customers kept coming through. It made the day half amusing to see how serious some of them took the metal machine, like they were walking through it as if it were scene out of a film. In Viola's queue, they were then greeted by her, collecting their bags and carrying on their way to the duty free shops. A single man was taken aback by her, you could see he really want to keep a conversation going, but because of the eager travelers behind him he didn't have much time. Viola was pleasant, but she knew she wouldn't have known what to do if that man made a move on her.

The customers kept coming. Viola kept on keeping the hand luggage in order and giving it to the customers. She liked the job because of all the people she met, her charming social skills showed she was a people person. And she liked to think. When you looked at her she came across as a thinker, mostly lost in one's own world of thoughts. She knew she got that because of her strict parents, it annoyed her a little too. She knew she was a virgin and had never been on a date which she kept close to her chest. She sort of blamed her reservedness because of her strict upbringing. On the exterior though, she did her work with day to that night.

Paolo was approaching the metal machine. He was a tall Italian man with a dash (quarter) of Greek. Businessman, dressed in a suit, sharp chiseled features, a picture of a knight in shining armor, instead the armor was a suit. He was successful through the machine, his brisk walk gave the impression of power, the only negative could have been he was skinnier than the all man. He arrived at Viola and he too was stopped in his tracks. Their silence made sparks fly. It was really cute to see, because it was understood Viola's weakness' was the missing thing Paolo was destined for. His large in life status couldn't find her, now it seemed it did. There was talk, but he seemed in a rush, however a piece of paper was exchanged which turned out to be Paolo's number. Viola took it and put it in her pocket, not sure how to react, but glowing like a girl which got her first kiss.

Something had touched Viola deeply, she wasn't chatting to her customers the way she usually did. She seemed lost in new thoughts; love at first sight. Then she was knocked off guard because Paolo had left a bag. She turned in his direction to see him away a ways now, but told a colleague to watch her post and she ran after him. She ran in her high heels, the best she could, holding her hand high, waving and squealing which sounded like a twelve year old. Her millimeter by millimeter strides were pathetic, but cute in the picture of an inexperienced teenager in a stunning thirty something year old woman's body. Her uniform exploded her sharp features, male travelers around looked at her like she was a dream. Viola kept shouting "Mr, Mr" getting closer to the back of Paolo. "Mr" then Paolo sensed it was directed at him, however, whack someone else crashed into Viola and she went spinning and ended up on the floor.

The other person was a middle aged American man, at first glance he could have been categorized as one of those speakers. He had one of those large annoying faces you wanted to punch, the type that was always in your face. Viola was dizzy, she thought she had fractured her leg at first, but told herself to shut up and to stop being such a child. Paolo arrived, when Viola came to consciousness she looked up and all she could see was the sun. She knew that wasn't possible in the airport, but something was shining bright and in front of it was a shadow which kept repeating "Madam, madam". The dream cleared and Paolo came to the fore.

"Madam, are you OK?" Paolo said.
"I think I need a doctor" Viola replied.
"I will get help right away"
"No, I'll be fine. You left your bag"

Paolo looked at his bag sprawled a meter away. His attention was only on Viola for now. He was happy he didn't lose his bag, but this gesture was another thing which made him more attracted to this pretty stranger.

"Thank you" Paolo said.

He reached out his hand which Viola took. Electricity ran through Viola's body, she yelped a little, the type from someone who had the taste of an orgasm that never had an orgasm before. She was pulled to her feet, which kind of felt like she was swooped, flying like a bird. Paolo saw every single bit of Viola's inexperience at this moment, the little girl inside an aging adult approaching middle age. The rare bird he would treat like a queen. His smile became uncontrollable and infectious. The American man was walking to the picture of marriage, barking. He wasn't angry, the more he talked the more you understood that was the volume of which he naturally spoke. He asked if Viola was alright, trying to explain every bit or every detail of the collision. Viola was polite for about three seconds, the rest she and Paolo basically told the man to get lost because they were enjoying their moment too much.

It was three months later, the customers kept coming through as usual. It was mayhem because it was Christmas time. Family after family came through those metal machines and collected their hand luggage. It was nice because of the festive spirit and all, nice to see families happy together, the day's went faster. The only downside was the intensity, it never stopped and the customers always came in packs, it was your usual times three plus. Viola was her wonder-charm self, the airport's model beauty queen making the people feel good and doing her job with brisk service. But, instead of the inexperienced girl inside before, it had been replaced with sadness. We all said it and knew she hadn't been the same since the day she met Paolo. She hid it well though, she was excellent at that, she made people feel good with talk and charisma, which hid how she was feeling. She gave to others to do benefit for herself as well as them. Also, the browns in her eyes sunk so deep like an ocean it drowned you, you never could see directly into her pupil, hence knowing how she was feeling.

We later knew she was sad because she lost Paolo's number. She must have lost it when she collided with that American man. We'd never seen her panic so much throughout the day, checking her pockets inside and out, and inside and out, even in her tights for the piece of paper. We really felt bad for her. She stood by her post on the verge of breaking down in tears, but like the reliable cherry she was she always got on with her tasks, it was the in between times which made us worry. She seemed certain she was doomed, whenever she had a chance, she checked around the area's, in the machines, even under people's feet at the duty free section. She became the airport detective, that or a nutter that had lost it, it was clear that number meant a lot to her. When the day was up, tears did come through, she thought she'd never see him again because he probably was on his way to the other side of the world.

A lady and her family said "Merry Christmas" to Viola and Viola returned it in spirit. The kids made her smile. She knew they were a Catholic family, Irish, they sang songs with each other where the parents nattered what plans they were doing after church on Christmas day. Viola smiled as they went away, the kids skipping and in competition as to who got the words exactly right, the parents hugging. A bag hit Viola's leg, she noticed it was the lady's, she had left it. Viola asked her colleague to watch her post then she set after the lady and her family. She called and called "Madam, madam" whilst shimming her pigeon steps along in her heels. She got closer and closer. The family turned around. Then whack, Viola collided into someone again. It was a hard exchange as the person was tall and had the feeling on strong, even though the frame was on the skinnier side, the bones held importance.

Viola was dizzy again, some of the contents of the bag had fell onto the floor. The family were making their way to her. Viola felt strange because even though she had been knocked to the floor once again, also one of her heels had broken  for good measure, she wasn't hurt. It was the strangest thing to her. It was a much harder collision than the last one, but, she wasn't hurt. She had this strange feeling she was experiencing an act of God, the type John Travlota and Samuel L Jackson's characters in the film Pulp Fiction experienced. Then is got stranger because to her what was happening was a miracle, her eyes looked ahead and the person she hit was him. It was him, he was there.

Monday, 30 December 2013

Dustbin Rubbish

Dustbin Rubbish

She was a fool for ending up on an awful council estate. And to get a job at a Unit which wasn't much better.

She had a lot on her mind, so much so she definitely could have gone straight back to bed, but the picture of her daughter gave her life. Her name was Marina, from Poland, her straight black hair was one of her prettiest features. She brushed again it just for extra measure, knowing she adored it. She liked the way it looked like Uma Thurman's character in Pulp Fiction, but it was real, not a wig. Her daughters name was Janice. She ate her bowl of cereal like a good child; she didn't fuss, she was good like that and something Marina was grateful for, despite the surroundings they were in.

She took the plates to the sink. The ingrained dirt stains were un-cleanable there, it signified the place hadn't been renovated since it was built. She turned on the tap, the water which came out was always dirty toilet water and had to wait a few seconds for it to clear, knowing the clean water was on it's way. Again her foot got wet because the next thing she noticed was the washing machine had started leaking again. The water trickled out from the bottom. Marina huffed because it was another flipping thing she had to get right. She remembered the landlord looked at it only two weeks ago. She took kitchen roll and placed them all over floor.

Marina sat on her mattress, which was her bed, that got her down. The lump of a thing layed slumped in that room like it was a dead weight of nothing, no purpose, not even to sleep on. Janice's mattress was on the other side of the room. Knowing a one bedroom flat was all Marina could afford for now made her that bit more tired. However she looked smart in her straight trousers, shirt and over coat. She put on her flat, leather black pumps, and looked at her reflection in the mirror. She tilted her head, the outside light was above her, she looked pretty, she was pretty, she was grateful of that. She then dropped her head knowing it wasn't so much the same on the inside. That's when she got out her phone and filtered through her messages. It was done without thought like she'd been there a thousand times already.

Marina. I love and I need you back. For God's sake, just come home. I am sorry I lost our life savings, but I will get it back. Just give me a chance, don't run away from me. Love you with all my heart. Jasper xxx

The cracks in the walls were so large they could easily be covered up as the design of the paint. This was one of the first things Marina looked at after that message. The mattress didn't get much comfier. She didn't know what to do, or if she did the right thing. All she cared for was Janice, but that message held her in a transition as to whether her decisions where the best for her daughter.

Locking the front door took three attempts because the lock wouldn't bolt. Janice waited patiently, with her little read hat and backpack on, holding her mothers hand. Her nose twitched severely times, the twitches of confusion; the smell of crack loomed the air. A neighbor left her apartment with a belt and needle and collapsed into the hall way. The abuse at her from the guy she stayed with was fierce. He then kicked her when she was out cold and told her she'd be out on her ass if she didn't get milk very soon.

"Come on baby, look this way" Marina said to her daughter.

The lock turned and Marina took Janice's hand as they set off in the opposite direction. The hallway was a nightmare, like a tunnel of death because there was hardly any light, the noises from the rooms were strange, the smell of dogs piss and shit. Mother and daughter passed a big beast of a woman breastfeeding her child whilst cackling a song of Jesus. The smell of cannabis stuffed the air as a few Rastafarian's sat on the floor, playing their Jamaican bashment and sipping their Super Tennants. Janice's little footsteps got quicker, Marina's hand grip got tighter.

They made it out to the front yard, and there stood the estates gang, by the front wall, as usual. Marina stopped because she knew she had too.

"Go on Janice, wait by the road, I'll only be a minute" Marina said.
"But Mommy" Janice replied.
"Just go"

Little Janice trotted away. The gang noticed her and then the main girl's eyes darted straight to Marina. Then she went to her. Marina rubbed her forearm anxiously. Scared.

"Rent" the girl said. Her voice was ferocious, like her scowl and well cut hair style. Her Nike clothes shown proudly.
"I'm a bit short this..."

The girl punched Marina in the face before she could finish her sentence. Marina got the book thrown at her, the kitchen sink, the lot and was warned if she didn't have the right amount by that night there would be more abuse. Marina was hurt, her nose was bleeding, she looked out for Janice who was around the corner and relief restored because she didn't see what happened.

"Make sure you have it tonight. Oh and if you tell anyone about this, we'll kill her" the girl said.

Marina knew she was in hell. Where she lived, her life. She picked herself up as instructed too and walked down the road like she was instructed too, wiping away the blood before she got to Janice. She saw a little figure waiting by a bush, swinging her lunch box around. She was such a good girl Marina thought, she was strong. On the other side of the road, teenagers were vandalizing a car, swiped the radio and ran off. Marina told Janice to not look, and walk along the road with her, which they did.

"Have a good day at school darling" Marina said

She bent down to Janice's spirited young face. It shone like an angel, which was the last thing she could say about hers. She stroked Janice's hair and touched her face. She had never felt so upset than this moment. Why? Because she was putting her baby through this hell all because of her decisions. She knew she was a bad person for that, as bad as the world she was living in, as bad as trash. The only thing Marina hoped for was a change, but it didn't come and she didn't know why.

"Bye Mommy" Janice said as she kissed her mum, and trotted into school.

Marina. I love and I need you back. For God's sake, just come home. I am sorry I lost our life savings, but I will get it back. Just give me a chance, don't run away from me. Love you with all my heart. Jasper xxx

Marina read the message again and was about to reply, but stopped herself. She knew why - because her stubborn ways got in the way. She looked at the building in front of her which was close to looking like a prison; the gates were high, the fence around it were tight and stretched all around. She wasn't enjoying her stay in England at all. She put the phone in her pocket went in to work.

The kids hardly listened to her, except the ones she could count on. There were two of them and always sat at the front to her right. Those angels, as she called them to herself, kept her going, if they didn't listen Marina contemplated what was her point there. What ultimately kept her was the money and that she had a job. As the kids got on with their tasks that was set, Marina marked over work at her desk. She was a teacher of some sort at least, even if it was a unit. She took time to look at her students. They weren't bad kids, they just had unfortunate upbringings, but most of them were on their way to being bad. Some weren't even working and were playing games on their portable handsets or listening to music on their headphones. When Marina told them to get on with work they told her to shut up. Marina didn't fight back, she didn't have the strength - her own fault for being weak.

The playing got heated between four kids and it broke out into a fight. They were swinging for each other at the back of the class. Marina ran over to them to retain order, but they turned on her and started hitting her. Marina covered her face for protection, then one of the kids got up on the desk and fly kicked her in the back. Marina let out an almighty yelp, her gasp made her mouth open wide, her panic flashed loudly before she hit the ground. She didn't stay still though, she ran out of the class to get help.

At lunch, Marina sat at her desk and ate her homemade sandwich. Packed lunch was all she could afford, also staying in the classroom for lunch she found was the safer. A knock on the door was heard.

"Come in" Marina said.

It was Danielle, one of her good students. She stood at the door.

"I left my drawing book miss, can I get it?" Danielle said.
"Yes Danielle" Marina replied.

Danielle moved to the book draws and found her book. Watching her, Marina couldn't help to admire a good seed. Before Danielle left, she turned to Marina.

"You're a good teacher miss. I like learning from you" Danielle said.
"Thank you sweet. And you are a good student" Marina replied.
"They say I have a good chance of getting into school again"
"I know. And I will be putting in the best reference to make that happen"
"You will become a proper teacher too one day"

Marina didn't know what to say to that. She was given guidance and support from a twelve year old. Even a twelve year old knew she wasn't supposed to be there, and it hit home as to why she wasn't given any better opportunities in England - because she didn't deserve them. She said "thank you" to Danielle and her mature young self left the room. Right then Marina had some facing up to do, she was religious and the right answer came; God was punishing her and moving all the way to England to better anything was naive.

Marina and Janice arrived at their council estate, the gang was waiting.

"Wait by the door. Mummy won't be long" Marina said to Janice.
"OK" Janice replied and skipped to the door.

The rough girl approached Marina, the slings in her hoody pulled tight.

"Rent" She said.

Marina got out one hundred and fifty pounds and handed it to her. That wasn't close to her actual rent, and if their was such a thing as being pleased for this ordeal, is that the amount wasn't anymore.

"Good. Don't be late again" The girl said.

She snarled mockingly back to her friends. Marina went to the door and took Janice's hand again.

Marina had just made dinner, it wasn't much, mashed potatoes, veg and sausages. It was the basics from Sainsburys, it was all she could manage, but was pleased that she cooked proper meals and not from the packet. She sat, pretty in her joggers, barefoot, and loose t shirt. Janice was on the floor, eating and watching the cartoons. The TV was tiny and fuzzy, it was another thing Marina could only afford and that did annoy her. The knob on the radiator had broken, so Marina put her plate down and turned it on with pliers because Janice was cold.

As Marina was washing up, she set the last dish down with vigor. She took her phone and opened up the message again.

Marina. I love and I need you back. For God's sake, just come home. I am sorry I lost our life savings, but I will get it back. Just give me a chance, don't run away from me. Love you with all my heart. Jasper xxx

Marina looked at Janice watching the cartoons in the front room and knew she had something to do.

I'm sorry baby. I want to come home. I love you very much. I just got scared. Love Marina xxx

A message replied in an instant.

It's so good to hear from you. I will do better. Come home

I am coming home. We will leave Friday

I love you xxx

I love you xxx

Within a heartbeat everything felt better for Marina, like a thousand problems had disappeared. The trash of a place she lived were seen with new eyes - for what it actually was, garbage. She knew she was on to better things now, where she should be and no longer bound because of her pathetic ways. She had been running away from her problems instead of facing up to them. She looked at Janice again and realized she was now saved. Her husband wasn't a bad person, she just had to learn something new in her life now - the ability to forgive. And at that, she knew God would reward her soon.